So much here is filled with grief, mourning, fear, and the fragility of the human soul. Detaching from loved ones just to love them and oneself seems to be so opposite of what you are expected to do.
Detachable heart from sleeve is really what it seems to be, and it does work. No need to not like that loved one, but to see that person as his/her own being. You both didn’t come screaming out of the womb at the same time, pushing out to see who is first, to see who is better, faster, meaner. Leave that to those “mean” girls.
Loving in a detached sense gives you the ability to do your own thing, to be responsible for yourself, and not to blame others for the crap you have been doing to yourself all your life.
That’s where the kitten comes in.
I am told that if you can meditate while pretending to hold a newborn kitten in your hands, you slowly come to a realization of both peace and some fear, knowing that the kitten is so fragile- yet; that kitten becomes you, so you have to hold yourself to a higher level of love. That means taking care of yourself and not worrying about other’s problems, that phone call or stupidity at work. You also become detached from the toxins that tease you as you try to close that door shut.
Once you “become” the kitten, the only important thing is you.
I hate (strong word trigger here)—yes, I hate when people blame their parents or the past for what they can change on themselves now. Perhaps because I have done it myself, and joined in on the blame game.
But my detachable heart from sleeve thing is making me feel, actually, more responsible for myself, and to be a better person. Being a better person means detaching from the itchiness from those that want so desperately get under your skin. But it is your skin, thank you very much, and you don’t need to be responsible to others in order to love them.
I no longer wear my heart on my sleeve.
I keep it close to Jesus and my own woodland spirits.
I am learning to choose those with no agenda, no ulterior motives, just to live out each day loving each other through rock & roll, humor, service and prayer. Well, and cooking the 10 lb. bag of carrots that he brought home.